Look at me, I am sensitive

July 20, 2005 - 5:04 p.m.

On the train on the way to work, a little girl got on with her grandma and I was taken aback because she looked just like me. It was like looking at myself from the outside, as a five-year old. She was good and a normal kid. Well-behaved, but still silly. Chatty and conversational, but not using her voice to air frustrations and demands. Her hair was falling out of her ponytail and she had a blond curly afro framing her sweaty, slightly dirty face. She was wearing boys’ tennis shoes, and taking them off and shaking out pebbles. You can bet that she picked those shoes out herself, as most parents don’t go looking in the boys’ department when they have a little girl.

Her grandma was explaining to her what the subway is, and how their stop was Austin, Can you say Austin?

"AW-stin!"

She was perfectly content with herself, and the people around her; satisfied with this big strange world.

I wanted to stare at her, and take in all of her tiny features to see if in fact, she did look like me, or if perhaps I should have eaten a bigger breakfast, and my blood sugar was running low.

She wiggled around in her seat, not in a fidgety way, but in a spunky way, as if to say, “Hello World, I am here, I am me, and here I come!”

Believe me, I’m not the type to canvass the general populace, looking for a mini-me. And I’m not particularly drawn to little blond girls either. I’m no Aryan. You know how I feel about white people.

I got up to stand by the door as we approached my stop and she was looking at me and I looked right into her face, enchanted by her smiling eyes with little lines underneath. She opened her mouth wide for no reason at all, as kids are prone to do, and I looked at her little baby teeth. It was all so familiar. I burst out laughing, silently, and my face exploded into a huge glowing grin. She beamed back at me giddily and for a moment I was spellbound and felt like I was having a profound metaphysical experience and all I could think, over and over again in my mind, was WOW.

I climbed the escalator and made my way to work, all the while thinking, “It was a pleasure to meet you, Little Shawna.”

Previous - Next

The Latest Babel

The Fast, Days 1-6
January 28, 2007