The Cleanse Fast Days 7-12

February 09, 2007 - 7:22 p.m.

DAY 7, Fri
Today I am, miraculously, at about 95%.  I don't want to get too excited and jinx myself.  But I feel a lot better, I'm not hungry all the time.  If this doesn't last thru the weekend, I will lose my shit.  I can't lie around doing nothing any longer!!

BIJA TEA IS QUITE MINTY AND TASTY.  THE TRIPLE LEAF TASTES LIKE NOTHING.

Moving things along in the bowels here.  Hardly anything in there.  Tho, considering I haven't eaten in 7 days, the fact that there is anything at all coming out says something I think.  What in the hell is it doing in there?  I wonder if it's possible to get it all out or if this is just the way things are.  I read online that if a person cannot not handle the SWF that they can use laxative tea in the morning as a substitution.  Today is the first day I did not do the SWF, and instead had 2 teas last night and one this morning and I much prefer the effect.  SWF is sickening, I carry 1 Quart of it around in my distended belly for hours until it wants to come out.  Nasty stuff.  The tea is more gentle, not as much bloating and there seems to be less risk of pants-shitting.  Not sure if the lack of SWF has anything to do with my physical/mental improvement or not.  Could be coincidence.  I'm getting rid of some toxins, I've noticed everyday now that I stink in the pits and I'm not sweating at all, that's for sure.  Not working out at the gym.  So it's coming out my pores, that's good.  Glad no one is around to have to smell it.  Hmmm.  I stink right now and it's only 1pm and I've just been sitting at my desk.  Things are looking up, if there was a Jesus I'd praise 'im!

I've gotten daily lectures from my dad about how this fast is going to kill me, and I'll admit he did scare me the other day with talk of Potassium depletion and how it's hella bad for your body and you can die with out it.  I only eat 2 things:  lemon juice and maple syrup.  Internet research tells me that lemons have very little potassium but maple syrup has quite a bit so I decided to start using as much maple syrup as would give me the recommended 2,000g of potassium per day that adults need, just to get pops off my back.  Besides, I had only been using 1/3 of the maple syrup that was called for, because I didn't need the extra sweetness. Well, clearly I had the mental capacity of a frog because it took me 3 days to realize that getting that 2,000g of potassium from syrup also just happened to give me, DUH, 2,000 CALORIES.  Pure, sugary, carbohydrate calories.  And there I was, wondering why I hadn't lost any weight at all. ID-JIT!.

Day 8, Saturday
Another great day, I think I finally made it over that hump.  Woke up energetic, cleaned the house, drank two teas and waited for it to do its magic so I could go out and run errands.  It never came.  And that's after 2 teas before bed last night.  Finally I told Eric we could leave and we went out car-shopping together.  I started feeling my guts gurgle and told him that we shouldn't stay out too long and by the time I got home I was ready to rip.  Six hours later!  WTF?  I don't have time to wait 6 hours to shit.  I know it isn't as aggressive as the SWF, but still.

Fasting severely restricts your social activities, because if you can't eat or drink, then what ya gonna do? There's no way I'm going to sit in a restaurant and smell the smells and watch friends eat.  I'm staying home tonight, get some writing done, maybe watch some Amy Pohler on Weekend Update.

Hunger pains seem to be under control, either that or I have just gotten used to it.  Same as I've gotten used to shitting all the time and not eating and having a raw booty.  People can get used to anything, truly.  I think I would make a good prisoner of war, because I naturally, unconsciously mentally adapt to whatever bag o' flaming shit might be flung at me at any given time.  Which might explain some of my shitty ex-boyfriends, or at least why I stayed with them longer than 5 minutes.  I am just way too accepting of things.  Despite the fact that I come across as intolerant to most.  I'm an enigma.  Or a wishy-washy doormat.  You decide.

FYI, forgot to tell you.  I've been taking this product, 2 oz a day, during my fast:

http://www.iherb.com/store/ProductDetails.aspx?c=Herbs&pid=SES-05010

I wanted a liquid vitamin in case a pill might hurt my stomach. (One horse-pill multi-vitamin was so harsh it actually made me throw up one time when I took one on an empty stomach.)   This stuff has a 98% absorption rate because it's liquid.  So I've been getting nutrients, and I take it after the big FLUSH so it has time to absorb and doesn't get flushed out.  Eric's mom sells this stuff so I got a bottle from her for $15.

I'm feeling very good, functioning at about 95-100% I'd say, and haven't eaten for 8 days.  Seen some evidence of toxin release through my pores, my sweat, and my poop.  Not as grody as what I've read other people experience, but I attribute that to the fact that I haven't eaten meat for 12 years and have a relatively healthy lifestyle.  Perhaps not as many toxins as your average fast-food eating American.  I do have many years of smoking and *ahem* drugs that did who knows what to my body.

Still taking gentle herbal laxative tea at night and the morning, and still pooping every day!  That says something, I think, that I would still be pooping after NO FOOD for 8 days?  Lemonade does not create feces!  Do you want to think about the fact that you might be carrying around 8+ days worth of shit?!  It amazes me that it keeps coming out.  What is it doing in there?! And will it ever stop?  I really wonder, will it ever just be empty? It is getting less and less each day, but still it comes.  And sorry to gross you out but thought you might want the details.

Anyway, Monday is my last day.  Tuesday I drink OJ all day, Wednesday I drink vegetable broth and by Wed night I can eat vegetables and fruit.  Then on Friday night I am flying to visit Angel Hoss for the weekend in Louisville, a little "vacation" to reward myself and unwind and eat his healthy vegan cooking.  It would make a lot more sense for me to visit my Phoenix friends this time of year, but that requires more time and money and I don't want to use any vacation days because of all the family stuff I have going on this have this summer.   My goal here is to detox and get rid of cravings for sugar, fats, dairy, processed foods, etc.  And then eliminate refined and processed foods from my diet.  Like starting from a clean slate, I shouldn't have sugar cravings anymore and my clean palate should let me better appreciate simple, whole foods like fruits and vegetables.  From other's experiences, they no longer desire meats, cheese, and sweets because they just taste too rich and fatty and just not good anymore.  That's what I'm hoping for.

ORGANIC

DAY 9, Sunday
No that it's almost over, I am finally at ease and enjoying the fast, damn!  I'm thinking about extending it a day or two, not sure if that would be beneficial.  I can't tell if I'm super toxic, and I haven't even reached the rinse stage yet, or if I'm not toxic at all and already passed it!  There was nothing really major that told me that it was "working" I suppose.  No shitting of marbles or rump roast, no pot o' gold at the end of the rainbow, damn!  I was hoping a little green gremlin would come out, a manifestation of a lifetime of ire.  I consider myself a little healthier than the average Joe, no meat or fast food for 12 years, lift weights 3-5 times a week, but I'm no athlete.  Still eat dairy and sweets.  Lovin' that chocolate n cheese!  So I didn't expect major impacted putrefied meat or anything, but I did feel like I needed cleansing!  I'll give it 2 more days and see how it turns out.

LIFE

Day 10
Bought the juice oranges and food so they're ready when I am.  At this point it's pretty much all fun and games and I'm so used to the lemonade and everything I feel like I could go another week. Tonight is the last laxative tea!

Day 11, Tuesday and I haven't broken the fast yet. 
I did buy a bunch of oranges and vegetables last night so I'm ready.  Squeezed the juice this morning but still not sure when I should break!  Today or tomorrow.

BLL says that my face looks thinner in those new pictures.  I had been thinking my face looks goofy but couldn't put my finger on it.  I think I've lost 7-8 pounds, which I don't think is too much.  With normal weight loss it's so gradual that a person might not notice things.   But this is so drastic that I will suddenly feel bones! Like I rested my chin on my hand and it felt bony.  Washed my face in the shower and it felt bony.  Woke up today and felt my bony ribs digging into the mattress and it hurt. How weird is that!  Put lotion on my hands and they felt bony, and then on the subway caught my reflection of my hand grasping the pole and it looked bonier!  So gross, so weird, so fascinating.  They say you gain back ½ the weight right away.  The cans, thank god, have not gotten smaller.

I want to thank my biggest supporters – Angel Hoss, KC, and Liza.  And my mama, but she doesn't read this.  Really, taking my plan seriously and being genuinely concerned and involved means so much to me.  And above all, for having faith in me and not treating me like some whacked-out Moonie *cough*BLL*cough*.  Having faith in my intelligence and rationality and knowing that I take my shit seriously and researched it extensively and am not known for being compulsive in a self-destructive way.  I don't normally need or ask for support from people, but this was a true test of will, especially since I had unrelenting bad side effects for a good 6 days and I thought I was going to snap my own head off.  It ended up being hard for a longer period of time than I had anticipated.  Sending irritable text messages to Angel Hoss was like taking the kettle out of the fire.  Such relief.

But all of this attitude I'm getting from people, I do not understand.  I can see if people are concerned for my health or had genuine questions about what I'm doing and why...but all this bullshit.  I'm not exactly in my perfect frame of mind right now, but it seems kind of shitty and rude.  I'm trying to reverse the situation in my head and I don't see myself insulting someone for taking on a new or different health lifestyle.  Hmmm.  Is it just me, in my Zen state, or do I sense real judgment and hostility?

I expected teasing.....but not flat out disapproval and judgment and UN-support.  If I had known that, I would never have told anyone!  I thought they would find it interesting to observe the progress....

And I thought as I progressed and people saw that I was serious about it, they would grow even more interested and supportive?  No....

And I love the overall assumption that everyone has made that I am STARVING myself to get thinner.  That this is some anorexic binge that I decided to broadcast to the world!  That's right, everyone, at 30 years old I just decided right now to be body-conscious and I've puked myself into a frenzy of Nicole Richie idolatry.  Very soon I will post photos of myself running down the beach in a bikini with pointy clavicles.

Do I come across as self-righteous and that's why everyone hates me?  Do I need to just keep my fucking mouth shut about everything I do?  Christ on a crutch people, is it the end of the world if your friend or co-worker decides to do a little soul-searching or self-improvement? Scorn?  Derision?  Are you KIDDING me? CHILL.  THE FUCK.  OUT.  THANKS.

If you want to tell me that fasting is wrong, then at least approach me with intelligence and hard facts, like my dad did.  I listened to him.

Still thinking about Angel Hoss's food, mmmmmmmmm.

ALL THESE VEGGIES FOR THE SOUP

CUTTING ONIONS WITH PROTECTIVE EYEWEAR

Day 12
TOMATO SLICING INCIDENT

Well, I went the full 11 days, plus a few hours.  Didn't eat until 11pm last night because it took hours to cut up those veggies with the wounded finger, and then simmer it for 2 hours.  I sped up the process a bit, testing my belly along the way.  Had a tall glass of OJ at 7pm last night, then at 11pm had broth and some soft veggies from the soup.  This morning, small bowl of Total and for lunch veg soup and hummus and wheat pita.  My belly feels fine.  I get full easily.  I'm waiting for the grand finale here, that Kristin Tracy described as "I ate a piece of bread.  And then I shit a rainbow."  Interesting.

Had a long talk with pops last night about the fast, dude kept me on the phone til almost midnight, goddamn.  He claims that the body needs protein every day to live and that it can only get protein through either food, or from muscle.  So he says that since I gave my body no protein for 11 days, that inevitably it had to have started breaking down my own muscles.  This disturbs me greatly.

BTW, this morning weighed 124lbs, I guess that's a loss of about 8-10 pounds.  Went to gym and took an ultimate abs class and ran 2 miles to jump-start the metabolism, in case it is sleeping.  Got weak really quickly and light headed.  I hope I didn't lose muscle mass.

I'm writing one general summary of the whole fast, including the after-effects.  More to come.

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The Cleanse Fast Days 7-12
February 09, 2007